Warning: the contents of this post will be harmful to your health.

Some call it a knapsack. Others call it a satchel. And though your girlfriend may ask to borrow it for a position in her trusty purse rotation, hopefully you’ll never have to talk friends down from calling your latest purchase your new murse. Regardless of title — let’s face it, men — we have evolved. And all of those gadgets we’ve been toting around for the last few years need a home.

On Monday afternoon, I trekked out into the wild in search of such a bag. For those living in the Kansas City area, I recommend any purchase of this variety from the folks at Backwoods in Overland Park. I quickly found and purchased an all-black Patagonia Single Shot ($50 USD) with its signature feature: an infallible recycled seat belt shoulder strap. Nothing says earth-friendly like recycled seat belt. Apparently this particular bag (read: purse) is also owned by my friend Blakely, which fully confirms that my new purchase is eligible for any sort of duties in future girlfriend purse rotation. You can view additional color options for the Single Shot on Zappos.com.

Backwoods had two additional noteworthy man-bags on hand: the Patagonia Atom bag ($60 USD) and the Osprey Flip ($69 USD). For any serious shopper, both should strongly be considered.

I have evolved. Meet my new shoulder bag, the Patagonia Single Shot.

Note: an easy-access velcro flap. To the right, my Banana Republic sunglasses.

So let’s cut to the details. I figured it only appropriate to impart a full manifest of items that could be traveling around with me in the near future:

iPod. After months of getting acclimated to my Touch, I’ve finally cemented how I use the device. Four apps come to mind: Tweetie 2, 2Do Lite, LifeChurch.tv’s Bible and the Apple-engineered Notes. Tweetie 2 is the only paid app in that list, but all of them are worth it. As for my music, the last month of music listening has included The Sailor Sequence and MuteMath’s Armistice record. I’ve listened to those tracks continually. While doing any sort of writing or thinking, I absolutely need access to Sigur Ros and their side project Jónsi & Alex. Some others I would recommend, if you find yourself purchasing any new tunes in the near future: Ray Lamontagne, Sandra McCracken.

iPod wall charger.

Sandwich. PB&J or tuna salad are acceptable.

Camera. For me, my new Holga 120N, a Christmas present from my brother.

Latteland coffee sleeve. This is a great idea from a Kansas City coffee shop chain – a cardboard coffee sleeve that you’re to re-use as your punch card. I’ve had mine for nearly a year but always forget it in my car. Now it’ll be on my person at all times.

Sunglasses. You can find a good pair of shades in a lot of locations, but I found mine on sale last spring at Banana Republic. After seeing the Book of Eli last Wednesday, I believe Denzel UV-ray protection (pre- or post-apocalypse) is a good idea.

All of this? On my person?!? Unbelievable! Men should've thought of this decades ago!

Car & house keys. Nothing says, “Imma climb mountains in my free-time” quite like wielding one’s keys on a carabiner. And though the $1.00 version of such you bought while checking out at the local hardware store surely couldn’t suffice for mountain climbs, your friends won’t know any better so long as you don’t tell them. Conclusion: carabiners are the new pink are the new black.

Kleenex. For each of those late-winter sniffles you just can’t seem to shake. Which brings us to our next item…

Cough drops. Halls menthols will do, but for serious throat soreness, Ricola’s Honey Lemon drops are my cough drop of choice. What with marketing words like “natural” and “herb” on the package, these are sure to convince your friends that you belong in a hippy commune and clear up that cold all the same.

Possibly candy. But don't tell your mom I said that.

Journal and not just any pen. A man-bag of any kind is best suited for trips to local coffee shops. Where else would you carry all of this stuff? The grocery store??! Ridiculous! For anyone frequenting a coffee shop, you can’t possibly forget a handy-dandy journal.

I’ve been writing in a journal for roughly eight years and I’ve been writing with my pen of choice — the Pilot G207 — since my senior year in high school biology class. At some point that year, I woke up one day to realize that I’d been wasting my life finishing those lab reports with inferior writing utensils. Ever since, nothing but this pen will do. There are few pens quite like the G207; what I mean to say is that the folks at Pilot have really outdone themselves. I’d like to think the ‘G’ stands for gangsta, but something tells me it’s a subtle reference to the gel ink that each of these unbelievable inventions contain.

The Pilot G207.

College basketball fans can liken my Pilot G207 obsession to Digger Phelps's matching highlighter/tie wardrobe on ESPN.

Pocket knife. MacGyver made it through most all of his seven seasons on ABC without the use of a pocket knife, but for the less-resourceful, a Swiss Army knife can provide both utility and protection. If you, the reader, attempt to steal any of the above items from my satchel, I’m not afraid to use afforementioned knife in self-defense.

Editor’s note: the author of this blog does not endorse violence. And he won’t bring any sort of weaponry to the work place.

Okay guys, which items have I forgotten? What items and gadgets are you carrying around this spring? Please elaborate. And ladies, help us out!!

For those who rave about Last.fm and Pandora, Grooveshark is better.

Last.fm and Pandora are the two heavily-used online streaming music libraries, but these sites merely deliver music suggestions based on the listener’s favorite artists and genres. These services were around well before the release of iTunes Genius mixes, but the suggestion algorithms are similar in principal: “You tell us what you prefer and we’ll play things like it.”

And that’s where Grooveshark is different. And better. Grooveshark plays any song you want on-demand. Unlimited plays. No membership required. For free. Rhapsody and Napster offer the same service for a monthly fee. I’ve been using this free online streaming music player for roughly two months now as a compliment to my iTunes library. I recall trying the too-good-to-be-true service for about a week before tweeting it into the lives of my friends and followers.

Streaming music at work or home? Use Grooveshark.

“There is always something more interesting on Twitter than whatever you happen to be working on.”

-David Carr, New York Times | full story: Why Twitter Will Endure

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Related: Today I found the design team at Twitter has a business account.